"Time is a healer," they tell you. "You just need to put it all behind you and to move on." They mean well and it's good advice maybe. Except you cannot. The person with whom you joined in a marriage covenant has gone. Either they want to be divorced from you or it has already happened. They seem to be making out pretty well, but you are not. Whatever the cause of it, and maybe that still isn't quite so clear to you, you can't go through a day without the burden of loss. You miss them, but they stopped caring about you. You may still have to deal with them because of the children. You may have been thirty years old or you may have been seventy years old when you found yourself to be estranged. The intimate life that was bound up with another is just gone. They took it away. You didn't want that. You never would have wanted that. You would not have married them if you had thought for one moment that they would do such a thing. You have lost not only them but your wider family. You used to love Christmas time with its large family gathering, but you cannot go there any more. Your income has gone to pieces. You had to leave your home, or you're going to have to go soon. What a mess! An almost indescribable mess from which there appears to be no escape. A disaster that will always hurl its consequences at you and at others until the very end. It would have been so much easier to deal with if they had died. 

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Sitting in the midst of an unwanted separation and divorce you can feel like one who cries alone in the wilderness. Alone, perhaps for the first time. Unwanted? Ugly? There had to be something about you that caused them to do what they did? There's no help for this. You can't take a tablet or a pill to make it any better, and most people don't really seem to want to listen when you try to talk to them. 

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Is there a route out of this that might bring with it a little hope of at least something by way of a future? 

 

We are working on something right now. Just as soon as it's done it will be on here ... the first steps to some recovery are coming as soon as we can. 

 

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